arizonaaaaaa*

you are the most wonderful boy in the whole wide world.

you make me happy, buy way too many designer clothes and my entire family looooves you. i hope you meet a beautiful girl and fall in love and then i can be friends with her and plan your wedding! #justsayin.

 take thousands of photos and be safe, and omg don't drive. "sometimes im texting and driving.. and i look up and think 'wow, how did i get here?'" #youredangerous.

be good in vegas, kay.. it's a party in the usa!

you deserve the most incredible adventure*

love you, C xoxo

dearLY*

you make me happy.

more happy than this photograph

of snow and sparkliness and christmas

three things i really love.

bc more than those

i love your pretty brown hair

and that your ipod always has the best music

i love that you let me email you at 3am

and you never get mad about it

i love that you seem to think im something special

someone worth your time

i love that we like the same songs

and that you pvr disneychannel

i love you more than that hotchocolate

more than my desire to buy candycanes

more than romantic roadtrips

more than staring up at the sky*

you are wonderful, leigh leigh

you light up my life

xoxo

everyone has their own sound*

i want to shatter something. throw it across the room and hear it break. but then i want to dance in a greengreen garden dusted with sparkly things that the sun hits perfectly. and to feel like everything is happening in slow motion.

today's song obsession: let it out now by leeland. currently addicted to calla. the day was filled with: new old bedrooms. writing loveletters. us, just being.together in the best way. longing for: new places. beautiful snow with miss adachi. and our long awaited skype-date.

You ride away
as though it's

already behind you

Lost to marvelous things

discarded

for me to gather

all the broken

skeleton leaves

and torn dragonfly wings

tied together

like soft whispers

shhhhh...

don't let them touch

can't let them see

drowning now
like butterflies

in a honey sea.

-starflowerandindigo 

reading justagirl. makes me go "awww". and makes me love you even more. and. it makes me realise that maybe (just maybe) i should ease up, bc shame you really like him.

  "I love you, more than blurs on my eyelashes (tinted with eventide) and the summer sunset at twilight and bird faces on the moon. (Your ladder to the stars)"

my world hurts when youre not in it. and that seems like all the time these days...

xoxo

and my heart*

 [today's desktop background]

spent this morning..

reading: nylon.

painting: my nails electricblue

listening to: the killers

 today's #fashioncraving: thigh-high tights. and the perfect tshirt dress.

 in other news of the day:

 my favourite berrysmoothie at cgc with C.

in the greatest takeaway cup.

 bc they know #thatshowilikeit.

and then he diagnosed me with sometihng serious-sounding

#rude.

so we watched the wrestling in india.

[songs of the day: bones / a white demon love song by thekillers. ]

rightnow id like:

to be on the beach, very early in the morning.

 when it's misty

but fresh

and everything seems to whisper

xoxo

she's nineteen*

[my birthday sunrise]

today was a fairytale*

it really really was. completely perfect :)

it began way before midnight sang to me.

and the way my heart feels will last way past twentyfourhours.

there's nothing like a perfect birthday to make you feel loved.

[yes i did wear my tiara everywhere i went today]

i wish i could mention every moment that made me smile

im happy happy happy!

im wearing way too much jewellery, and il never take it off.

song obsession: miss nothing by theprettyreckless.

christmas movies. massacre stories. philosophy 101. sunrise. cranberryjuice. flowers. "who's amanda?" faraway friends. lost recipes. love letters. no rain. fireflies. forever friends. wonderful surprises. lovely bedtime phonecall. feeling like a princess. you singing my name..

 i have incredible friends!

birthday birthday birthday

xoxo

and i will make you sound like..*

"well, now i don't have a chance with any of the girls in this room.."

oh, my boy..

if only you knew

if only you tried

if only she had told me

that you looked at me like that

my restless heart would

stop for a second

and then beat for you always.

if only her first reaction was different

if only she didn't catch your eye

youd see through her laugh, her dance

and hate me for not showing you

the truth before it broke you

if only i could be

embracing fall with missadachi

with the boy who chose his girlfriend over our friendship

rushing with jessicasmith

exploring restaurants in town

listening to this wonderful cd

-without wanting to share it all with you

if only you saw the way your eyes shine

the way your heart glows

and my world reflects it all back to you

"pick me

choose me

love me"

for now i will attempt to sleep

and not dream of ending friendships. again.

tomorrow is one of lastminutes. birthdays. and a night with sarahjane <3

enchantedhappy xoxo

stop procrastinating, finish your posters. GO*

gosh, how great are zebras? VERY. You know what else is cute..? *you guessed it* SQUIRRELS. please please please, charles. pleeeaaaassse.

today i learnt: never to buy benben a large smoothie. ever again. ever. that people steam cakes. -with irons (ahem ahem zoe). that andrew winter did not infact buy his license, and is a wonderfully capable driver. and a very efficient fudge-stealer. tonight we had birthday dinner and pinkchampagne. and many many photographs (which youre also not going to see..)

things im dying to tell you but probably never will: youre going to be an amazing husband. and a wonderful father. but really. sitting: under my camprock blanket. watching seasonfour. waiting: for you to finally realise. and tell me what to do. wishing: that even for a moment, things could be simple. me and you. yes or no. cake or... ahh who am i kidding, always cake.

enchantedhappy xoxo

she said, go*

i had so much i wanted to say. but then you clouded my mind. in the best way. and now missy higgins is singing my thoughts. *okay breathe* tonight: watching the sunset. staring up at the stars. getting lost (and there's no one else i'd rather have been with. it's weird how much i trust you. despite the fact that you say i've been withdrawn with you, ive never felt more vulnerable). and charles, after i highfive you tomorrow night, youll make me tea. and break the awkwardness, please.

in other news of the day: am i jealous?

"i dont know what ive done done, or if i like what ive begun. but something told me to run"

"i dont know who i am, who i am without you. all i know is that i should."

"but you taught me how to trust myself. and so i say to you, this is what i have to do."

"i need to know just how you feel, to comfort you. i need to find the key to let me in. into your heart"

"you were blessed by a different kind of inner-view, it's all magnified."

"she will love you more than i could. -she who dares to stand where i stood"

"youre my mystery, my mystery one"

"but if i listen to the dark, youll embrace me like a star; envelop me"

"i dont know if i could stand another hand upon you, all i know is that i should"

"if things get real for me down here, promise to take me to before you went away"

"my silence solidifies, til that hollow void erases you, so i can't feel at all"

"this world youre in now, it doesnt have to be alone. i'll get there somehow. cause i know i know i know when even springtime feels cold. but i will learn to breathe this ugliness you see. so we can both be there and we can both share the dark. and in our honesty, together we will rise, out of our night minds and into the light at the end of their fight"

enchantedhappy xoxo

"can u hear me now? .. SEVEN days.."*

it's weekend. and for the first time in weeks, i noticed. today is: mission shopping. skypedate with missadachi. james' farewell. mont for C and J's birthdays. pondering friendships. a conversation with him. hoping i see more girls with flowers on their dresses and flowers in their hair. aaaand jessicasmith is rushing this weekend! #yaycollegelife

enchantedhappy xoxo

assigned edition*

to whom it may concern

the book you wrote

a jelly sculpture

valentinesday cookies. and cookiedough

a romantic french letter

forms

a roadtrip (OH WAIT. youre leaving the country. FINE)

a pocket thesaurus

cinnamon/orangeblossom perfume. with the cool poofy thing

a superhero cape

you know who you are.

one month, one day.

get on it.

all my love*

enchantedhappy xoxo

happybirthday sarahmurphy*

it's eight twenty. lisa is sleeping in my bed. the dogs next door are barking. i'm busy stalking Lord_Voldemort7's tweets.bc theyre hilarious and brilliant. i just finished my tea. aaaand. ohmygosh its eight twenty.

Things i don't understand: What we did before we got a dishwasher. WHAT is up with Nu Metro making me BUY 3D glasses?! Could you not have told me this before I left my 8 other pairs at home. And we allll know your 'glasses aren't included in ticket price' line is a FAKESTORY. No need to lie. How sethcohen is so dang amazing. [WHY.-no. HOW you felt you had to do this at seven am, and then leave. with me feeling like this. it's just rude and you should be ashamed. i am sorry though. truly and completely. tell me how to make this right] Aaaand. I am fully going to be lame and agree with the hype: stepup3D. INSANELY COOL. Also (and more importantly) I'm in love with Moose. More than I was in the "tastes like candycanes at christmaaas" days. WAY more. So backoff. Mine. ("mine mine mine" *just for you chaitea*)

In other news of the day. Allll of you. Yes, even you. Should click on this link now. And follow my friend's blog. Bc apprently she's getting marked on the amount of followers she has. For school. Kay GO. I'm off to watch The OC, and hope Seth can make me feel better... And wonder (but not care) if the "Californiaaaa" will wake Lisa up..

enchantedhappy xoxo

claim that you missed it*

where do i begin.

regrets and recklessness. the kind i dont understand. the kind that needed to happen. the kind that made me realise your love is greater than i couldve imagined.

friendships i feel undeserving of.

friendships i finally see are over, bc that's how you need it to be. (thanks for letting me know youll always pick your girlfriend)

and delicious vanillachai, like only you can make it.

(all i want to wear this summer)

spent today: in my iheartny pjs. wondering if theyll let me go with B in december. aaand. blowing bubbles in the garden. i realised that i never watch them float away. i just like the feeling when i blow and they suddenly appear. funfact: 'on air with ryan seacrest' is the greatest radio show.

current song obsessions: teenagedream. xxxo. all i want for christmas. with me. hey man (now youre really living). rightnow im: stalking colleges. -here and there. [today's favourites: macalester and berea.] possibly freaking out over nothing. about to watch serendipity. then nottinghill for the first time. with bowls of blackcurrent jelly. and rooibos tea. lots of rooibos tea...

enchantedhappy xoxo

takes my hearts place*

remember these? ahh good times.. stjoseph's memories. currently reading: we wish to inform you that tomorrow will be killed with our families: stories from rwanda by philipgourevitch. and 70 great christians: the story of the christian church by geoffreyhanks. still can't finish perfectmatch by jodipicoult. it's just... so heartbreaking, reading the kid's thoughts. he shouldn't be feeling like that. ever. let alone while he's so young. he's five, for goodness sake. five. oh gosh, i don't think i'll ever finish it..

jessicasmith, just read your 'thankyou elc' post..“once family, always family.” awww. and ohmygoodness i just discovered goodreads. it's he coolest thing! have u got it, miss adachi? i think youd love it! ive been on it for like.. seven hours straight, im so addicted!!! my mom is laughing at me for getting so excited at every new option, "andrea, get a real friend". #gottalovefamily (yes i am bringing twitter into every moment, bc i can) rightnow im: updating my 43things. currently reading: britt's romantic post aaand her amazing list of why it's great to be single. this whole morning i thought it was nextweek monday, and was kinda freaking out. haha, turns out it's only august23, calm down everyone. everything is suddenly so soon* lastnight escalated so quickly. and then i found an sms from you on may tenth. is it lame that that's the only thing that calmed me down? probably. but youre still in my life, and youre still the one i want to run to. so i guess that's a good sign.

so much happened this weekend. it seems all my adventures happen with especially with lisafortuin these days, haha we are so great.  but i guess ill blog about my thoughts and experiences some other time. i just bought cranberryjuice and a cranberryalmond bar. and a magazine i played a part in creating. tonight i will go enjoy those :) and that yummy green tea with jasmine mmmm. i don't feel like thinking or analysing. i just want to: complete the essay i began this morning. paint my nails barbie pink. search for more colleges in hawaii. but im mostly just smiling to myself about the INCREDIBLE people i have in my life. thankyou, amazing friends. you make me so happy, make my heart feel complete. sweet dreams to you all*

enchantedhappy xoxo

contemplating you*

i came across these. they made me think of you.technically, im having tea. but i still cant get over how epic it is that you have a megaphone. and how priceless it would be to witness you telling your mom a story when she's upstairs. 

 we don't make sense. but you mean the world to me. so, like everything else. just accept.

we all say it now. especially the boys. silly influencial americans, they think they can just come here and change our vocabulary :) gosh.

today's number: 43. fragrance: white musk by thebodyshop. favourite meal: (tempted to say the eighth slice of pb toast..) tasty vegetarian-friendly wraps by daddy. favourite moment: ky. song: american girl by taylorswift. someone. tell me where my favourite places are. such a simple question. and yet.. it's proven so difficult. *freaking out* tomorrow is: make-britt-study-while-you-watch-skins-on-her-wonderful-mac day. oh, and soupkitchen-with-ali day. #ilovethegaplife. (twitter is life. only lisafortuin will get this.)

enchantedhappy xoxo

she thought aloud. to you*

I am not a troubled girl.
I trust.

In the one who created everything I see around me.

The sky. Autumn’s leaves. Your eyes.

In the one who knows every thought I’ve ever had.

Every dream I’ve ever wished upon a star.
Each of my hopes. And which of them will come true.


I trust.
In the beauty of our friendship.
In the person I am with you.
In your judgement.
Because you look to Him to know what’s right.
I trust in honesty.
Me to you, and your heart to mine.

I am not a troubled girl.

I love.

That she’s in my life.
That she knows me better than I know myself.
My thoughts before I think them.
What I want out of life.
Who I need in the moment.


I love.
Smiling to myself when I’m proud of you.
Dancing in the street.
To listen to his heartbeat.
He trusted me, he let me in.
But he no longer sees the man I saw him become.
He no longer sees himself through my heart.
He doubted my trust.
So he broke it.


I love never being afraid to hope.
“I love us.”
It’s not just a good movie quote.

I am not a troubled girl.

I know.
The strength it takes to recover.

What I believe in.

Who I want to be.

The light I want to shine.

The impact I will make in this world.

Who’s hearts I want my life to reflect.

I’m certain. I’ve decided.

I know.

Sometimes I don’t understand.

Sometimes it breaks my heart.

Sometimes not everything matches.

Your thoughts. My fears. Their actions.

Sometimes it hurts.

And I want to run.

But to, or from?
He’s already holding my heart.
He always holds me together.
You never have to worry.
He is my King. My rock. My only hope.
I am His precious daughter.
Nothing satisfies like His Word.
No one consoles like His Spirit.
The light He shines through my heart.

Only, sometimes. (And there shouldn’t be an only)

But sometimes. I stop and wonder.

Who will hold me when my insides shatter?

When I trust His plan,

When I know it’ll be okay.

But I can’t stop shaking.

Not knowing that.

The uncertainty in relationships.

The unpredictability my world is a testament to.

Makes me human.

Not troubled.

Not unworthy of truth; not betrayed.
(Sometimes betrayed)

But that I know betrayal for what it is, is a blessing in itself.

A blessing.

Soak it in, Andrea. You are blessed.

Your life thus far.

You always dreaming big.

The people who have shaped your life.

The way you know your heart.

The times you let them in.
This moment.
A blessing.
Breathe.

enchantedhappy xoxo