the battle's in your hands now*

[i would like to be her tonight.]

all im thinking is:

"omg im so bad at math. #butreally

 thank you God for giving me atleast one skill in my love for language.

 please, SAT, please be kind to me. you could make my dreams come true."

i wish: i could sit somewhere with hundreds of lanterns

 in a princess dress, drinking white hot chocolate.

but mostly, my heart whispers "please come back, james. please"

happy tuesday, i guess.

xoxo

takes my hearts place*

remember these? ahh good times.. stjoseph's memories. currently reading: we wish to inform you that tomorrow will be killed with our families: stories from rwanda by philipgourevitch. and 70 great christians: the story of the christian church by geoffreyhanks. still can't finish perfectmatch by jodipicoult. it's just... so heartbreaking, reading the kid's thoughts. he shouldn't be feeling like that. ever. let alone while he's so young. he's five, for goodness sake. five. oh gosh, i don't think i'll ever finish it..

jessicasmith, just read your 'thankyou elc' post..“once family, always family.” awww. and ohmygoodness i just discovered goodreads. it's he coolest thing! have u got it, miss adachi? i think youd love it! ive been on it for like.. seven hours straight, im so addicted!!! my mom is laughing at me for getting so excited at every new option, "andrea, get a real friend". #gottalovefamily (yes i am bringing twitter into every moment, bc i can) rightnow im: updating my 43things. currently reading: britt's romantic post aaand her amazing list of why it's great to be single. this whole morning i thought it was nextweek monday, and was kinda freaking out. haha, turns out it's only august23, calm down everyone. everything is suddenly so soon* lastnight escalated so quickly. and then i found an sms from you on may tenth. is it lame that that's the only thing that calmed me down? probably. but youre still in my life, and youre still the one i want to run to. so i guess that's a good sign.

so much happened this weekend. it seems all my adventures happen with especially with lisafortuin these days, haha we are so great.  but i guess ill blog about my thoughts and experiences some other time. i just bought cranberryjuice and a cranberryalmond bar. and a magazine i played a part in creating. tonight i will go enjoy those :) and that yummy green tea with jasmine mmmm. i don't feel like thinking or analysing. i just want to: complete the essay i began this morning. paint my nails barbie pink. search for more colleges in hawaii. but im mostly just smiling to myself about the INCREDIBLE people i have in my life. thankyou, amazing friends. you make me so happy, make my heart feel complete. sweet dreams to you all*

enchantedhappy xoxo

i cant resist the day*

today, the rain was beautiful. i received magical emails. miss adachi inspired my heart. as she tends to do. i baked. (yes, it was from a 'just add oil/water/eggs' pack. but it was delicious. and it looked edible, which is an accomplishment for me. and candywandy was proud of me, so be nice) and researched more colleges id like to attend.

[images via formeforyou]

i wrote happiness. had philosphical discussions. and tb drove me home. we listened to an insane remix of signs. "aaaat your funeral i was sooo upsettt" i am falling inlove with post-bartbass'-death chuck. again. bc he's just so much hotter. oh, i watched the heartbreaking season three finale of greek. and leigh posted a spoiler about chuck.

happy first-day-of-college, jessicasmith*

enchantedhappy xoxo

with every ghost of what i knew*

leighnewlands, you rock my world. over and over again. it actually kinda blows my mind. songs of the evening: just the girl by clickfive. i'd lie by taylorswift is breaking my heart. pondering: one thousand paper cranes. stalking: uo dresses. northwestern university. been reading: ecclesiastes. maya angelou once said: "i've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

[images via herecomesthesun]

thinking: in the colour of crushed berries. about juniorschool. and how epic it is that starpersongirl and her family just met OBAMA! wow. wanting to watch: the buried life. bring it on. tomorrow: im attending lectures at medicalschool. C is going to cape town fashionweek. twoweeksnotice is coming on tv.

 "If one is lucky, a solitary fantasy can totally transform one million realities" -Maya Angelou

enchantedhappy xoxo

the lies you spun like a sorceror*

she is wise beyond her years. insightful. creative. opinionated. free-spirited. twelve.

she has tea parties, true to elizabethan rituals. reads history books. teaches herself foreign languages. and this week, she can't go to bed before she watches her favourite scenes from 'alexander' (the specific edition she approves of).

my cousin is staying with me tonight. theyr all covering up a lie that (having watched enough tv in my life) i know will ruin her, even if it's in the long run. or maybe i'm thinking of myself. always looking for an excuse, for justification. perhaps she is stronger. perhaps she is able to put things into perspective and to see the pure motive behind their actions. either way, i'm against this.

we spent tonight googleimage-stalking horses, for her art project. i wouldve loved to go to her school. 

but flip, im so glad im done. went to my old highschool the other day (oh, the things i do for opsmile.. lol) and left more furious than ive been in a while. furious. and frustrated. so glad i got out. and i felt pity for those caught up in their moment of authority. spiralling through this system as though it's their realm to rule, without consequence. without consideration for the lives theyre meant to be shaping.-but hey, education systems that prepare you for life, that's only theoretical. why would one think that's actually how it plays out in real life. (yes, it is bitterness that you sense)

before, i loved school. to loser-ish degrees. but highschool was painful. i made the most incredible friends, and for them i will be forever grateful. cried my heart out as we sang goodbye. but i cried for them. i cried for the memories and the relationships. and i cried tears of intense relief. i cried thankful tears and sighed 'finally' sighs. i pray that she will never have a moment like that. that these last few years of the safety net (or the barrier) of school will be years of enlightenment. of inspiration. fulfillment and joy.

and i pray that tonight we will both dream sweetly*

enchantedhappy xoxo

pictures of me left behind..*

i've spent the evening researching internships. and colleges. listening to the juno soundtrack. and waiting for cake* contemplating cultural studies. and searching for the old thesaurus.

currently wishing: my brother a happy seventeenth. to be at bamboozle. that i could sing like rachel in glee. that teddygeiger would write a song to me.

if i were rich i could fly around the world and spend time with lisa by tomorrow. and then we could go to ireland together. but alas.. this is not so.

enchantedhappy xoxo

and this is where emotion flares*

i spent a lot of today blog stalking. and trying to keep the people in the office calm. i was genuinely scared for them. stress levels were higher than i can handle. and i decided that i might actually love paris. shocking, i know haha. and i decided on the concept for the shoot i will do with miss fortuin and B. yes.
i listened to much deathcab and taylorswift. and i had chocolate. delicious chocolate.

im in love with these tights. they were used in almost every editorial i loved last month. i want to wear them with docs. someone get me docs! oh and iv decided on some more presents to allocate. and i am really and truly for real in love with 15 on orange. danna is going to have her birthday there. at the bar im obsessed with. we're are going for drinks there next week. "champagne and lovely frocks" says danna. woopwoop* um lisa can u please organise a masked ball for me there? thank you*

today, i saw a man who plaited his beard. and i saw ricardo (shout out to st jaaames*) looking so great. wearing an amazing trench coat. this morning i was super ..on the edge. [see twitter for exhibit a. and b] aaand i drank normal tea and actually enjoyed it. and i found the next book i want to read. it's called 'perfect' by a lady named emily. im really excited to read it. oh. roz, scarlett and i are all contemplating reintroducing the fringe into our lives.

currently obsessed with exotic tea. and stalking. of all sorts. and perfume.

and desperate to start writing again. heartbroken that all my brilliant writing from the days in the education system is lost forever.

metrorail. we'll take you there.

enchantedhappy xoxo

and i will try*

[ image via jakandjil]

waiting for the meeting to start. i hope my daddy comes. i couldn't find any flats this morning. ended up running across town in heels, carrying five huge bags of lightly salted popcorn. convinced myself people wear staring bc they wanted to be me hahaha joke. okay meeting meeting meeting. i hope it rains tomorrow*

enchantedhappy xoxo

and they were pretty..*

yay exciting collages. yay no more english grammar to study. and the sun is shining brightly. it's a triple wammy day :) yay xoxo

could it be that ur not that far..*

so it was our last civvies day ever on friday. twas quite exciting :) these tights and tomy takkies were part of my outfit*
yay chelsea P's wonderful gladiators*
i love these, i want them in every colour. i want.. turquoise. cerise. navy. brown. red. gold. charcoal. coral...
i love stars. and i love R's shoes :) yes, please.
i took these last few in the queue for blood donation at school. i wish i could donate. it's so simple.. and u get to save four lives! wow*

i'm going to go look for my summer uniform now. it was 31 degrees today!
embrace the sunshine xoxo