it's all gone*

can't seem to think clearly.

or make real sentences.

even lisafortuin is making fun of me.

#timesaretough

but this rain is beautiful.

watch the rain fall in the glow of a streetlight.

#itsmyfavourite

my medicine by theprettyreckless. is everything i need tonight.

 i imagine living there and suddenly i can breathe. #letsstartover

and this. is so weird, but i cant stop looking at it. #creepyfact

[sometimes. i plug in earphones and just listen to myself type.]

xoxo

happybirthday sarahmurphy*

it's eight twenty. lisa is sleeping in my bed. the dogs next door are barking. i'm busy stalking Lord_Voldemort7's tweets.bc theyre hilarious and brilliant. i just finished my tea. aaaand. ohmygosh its eight twenty.

Things i don't understand: What we did before we got a dishwasher. WHAT is up with Nu Metro making me BUY 3D glasses?! Could you not have told me this before I left my 8 other pairs at home. And we allll know your 'glasses aren't included in ticket price' line is a FAKESTORY. No need to lie. How sethcohen is so dang amazing. [WHY.-no. HOW you felt you had to do this at seven am, and then leave. with me feeling like this. it's just rude and you should be ashamed. i am sorry though. truly and completely. tell me how to make this right] Aaaand. I am fully going to be lame and agree with the hype: stepup3D. INSANELY COOL. Also (and more importantly) I'm in love with Moose. More than I was in the "tastes like candycanes at christmaaas" days. WAY more. So backoff. Mine. ("mine mine mine" *just for you chaitea*)

In other news of the day. Allll of you. Yes, even you. Should click on this link now. And follow my friend's blog. Bc apprently she's getting marked on the amount of followers she has. For school. Kay GO. I'm off to watch The OC, and hope Seth can make me feel better... And wonder (but not care) if the "Californiaaaa" will wake Lisa up..

enchantedhappy xoxo

takes my hearts place*

remember these? ahh good times.. stjoseph's memories. currently reading: we wish to inform you that tomorrow will be killed with our families: stories from rwanda by philipgourevitch. and 70 great christians: the story of the christian church by geoffreyhanks. still can't finish perfectmatch by jodipicoult. it's just... so heartbreaking, reading the kid's thoughts. he shouldn't be feeling like that. ever. let alone while he's so young. he's five, for goodness sake. five. oh gosh, i don't think i'll ever finish it..

jessicasmith, just read your 'thankyou elc' post..“once family, always family.” awww. and ohmygoodness i just discovered goodreads. it's he coolest thing! have u got it, miss adachi? i think youd love it! ive been on it for like.. seven hours straight, im so addicted!!! my mom is laughing at me for getting so excited at every new option, "andrea, get a real friend". #gottalovefamily (yes i am bringing twitter into every moment, bc i can) rightnow im: updating my 43things. currently reading: britt's romantic post aaand her amazing list of why it's great to be single. this whole morning i thought it was nextweek monday, and was kinda freaking out. haha, turns out it's only august23, calm down everyone. everything is suddenly so soon* lastnight escalated so quickly. and then i found an sms from you on may tenth. is it lame that that's the only thing that calmed me down? probably. but youre still in my life, and youre still the one i want to run to. so i guess that's a good sign.

so much happened this weekend. it seems all my adventures happen with especially with lisafortuin these days, haha we are so great.  but i guess ill blog about my thoughts and experiences some other time. i just bought cranberryjuice and a cranberryalmond bar. and a magazine i played a part in creating. tonight i will go enjoy those :) and that yummy green tea with jasmine mmmm. i don't feel like thinking or analysing. i just want to: complete the essay i began this morning. paint my nails barbie pink. search for more colleges in hawaii. but im mostly just smiling to myself about the INCREDIBLE people i have in my life. thankyou, amazing friends. you make me so happy, make my heart feel complete. sweet dreams to you all*

enchantedhappy xoxo

contemplating you*

i came across these. they made me think of you.technically, im having tea. but i still cant get over how epic it is that you have a megaphone. and how priceless it would be to witness you telling your mom a story when she's upstairs. 

 we don't make sense. but you mean the world to me. so, like everything else. just accept.

we all say it now. especially the boys. silly influencial americans, they think they can just come here and change our vocabulary :) gosh.

today's number: 43. fragrance: white musk by thebodyshop. favourite meal: (tempted to say the eighth slice of pb toast..) tasty vegetarian-friendly wraps by daddy. favourite moment: ky. song: american girl by taylorswift. someone. tell me where my favourite places are. such a simple question. and yet.. it's proven so difficult. *freaking out* tomorrow is: make-britt-study-while-you-watch-skins-on-her-wonderful-mac day. oh, and soupkitchen-with-ali day. #ilovethegaplife. (twitter is life. only lisafortuin will get this.)

enchantedhappy xoxo

she thought aloud. to you*

I am not a troubled girl.
I trust.

In the one who created everything I see around me.

The sky. Autumn’s leaves. Your eyes.

In the one who knows every thought I’ve ever had.

Every dream I’ve ever wished upon a star.
Each of my hopes. And which of them will come true.


I trust.
In the beauty of our friendship.
In the person I am with you.
In your judgement.
Because you look to Him to know what’s right.
I trust in honesty.
Me to you, and your heart to mine.

I am not a troubled girl.

I love.

That she’s in my life.
That she knows me better than I know myself.
My thoughts before I think them.
What I want out of life.
Who I need in the moment.


I love.
Smiling to myself when I’m proud of you.
Dancing in the street.
To listen to his heartbeat.
He trusted me, he let me in.
But he no longer sees the man I saw him become.
He no longer sees himself through my heart.
He doubted my trust.
So he broke it.


I love never being afraid to hope.
“I love us.”
It’s not just a good movie quote.

I am not a troubled girl.

I know.
The strength it takes to recover.

What I believe in.

Who I want to be.

The light I want to shine.

The impact I will make in this world.

Who’s hearts I want my life to reflect.

I’m certain. I’ve decided.

I know.

Sometimes I don’t understand.

Sometimes it breaks my heart.

Sometimes not everything matches.

Your thoughts. My fears. Their actions.

Sometimes it hurts.

And I want to run.

But to, or from?
He’s already holding my heart.
He always holds me together.
You never have to worry.
He is my King. My rock. My only hope.
I am His precious daughter.
Nothing satisfies like His Word.
No one consoles like His Spirit.
The light He shines through my heart.

Only, sometimes. (And there shouldn’t be an only)

But sometimes. I stop and wonder.

Who will hold me when my insides shatter?

When I trust His plan,

When I know it’ll be okay.

But I can’t stop shaking.

Not knowing that.

The uncertainty in relationships.

The unpredictability my world is a testament to.

Makes me human.

Not troubled.

Not unworthy of truth; not betrayed.
(Sometimes betrayed)

But that I know betrayal for what it is, is a blessing in itself.

A blessing.

Soak it in, Andrea. You are blessed.

Your life thus far.

You always dreaming big.

The people who have shaped your life.

The way you know your heart.

The times you let them in.
This moment.
A blessing.
Breathe.

enchantedhappy xoxo

and it seems to me*

this weekend i learnt a lot. about myself. and the person i am around different people. about canalwalk. and islam. lastnight: we found a new parkingplace. and finally went into legends. then the night took an interesting turn. which began with kyle's attempt at filtering wine through his extreme coffee machine. and ended with his probable decision never to invite lisafortuin and i over again. atleast not until he covers his apartment in plastic. *awkward* tonight we went to this INSANE show at C's school. (ilovetygerbergcampus) jessicasmith, you would have LOVED it! it was glee X100 000. gonna try get the dvd. aaaand. i had a lightbulb moment. and wrote a list. and happened to make sense of my life. reading vicki's blog made my head start spinning allll over again. argh, i have so much in my head. but. im falling asleep rightnow. which is good. so im embracing it :) until next time....

enchantedhaapy xoxo

find your beautiful rest*

[image via thecobrasnake -i think..]

the past week has been quite eventful. fashion shows. elite lifestyles. food poisoning. themed parties. subconsious-alerting dreams. long drives home. boys who haven't learnt their lesson. and a girl who wont accept the truth. a twitter reunion. advice from faraway. overrated movies. new tights. hardcore remixes. season finales. profound book ideas. and many many of those 'wow, i have truly incredible friends' moments. so, admidst the heartbreak and despite the confusion.. i know i am blessed. and i am truly thankful*

thirtyfour minutes*

[image via blackorchid]

rightnow: im listening to theboy by rarariot. (thankyou nylon) aaaaand the only source of joy today (besides snoekie's letter. and mark. and a lovely fire. and an actual sms from victoria. and love from demi. and moments with lisafortuin that only the two of us will ever truly understand. and ephesians 4-5. *OKAY FINE il admit it. today turned out good*) is the possibility of missadachi coming here. ahhh this song makes me miss live music on hot summer evenings. tangerine smoothies. spontaneous roadtrips. cotton dresses in the cool midnight breeze. city lights on the way back home.. and the summer we wore matching bikinis. before all this mess.

enchantedhappy xoxo