A kiss is never just a kiss

1. It was a week filled with laughter, and eyes glittering with knowing; a week spent talking about Starbucks coffee and life in Ireland, a week of knowing we'd kiss. I knew that I would miss you, and speak about you when I got home and I guess I knew you liked me because you kissed me goodbye. (But then because you kissed me, I never said your name aloud again.) You kissed me goodbye, and it feels like every kiss since then whispers those same words.

2. ('Lets pretend the first time didn't happen the way it did', we always said. But we always brought it up. We always wished the first time was in the ocean, when I realised I trusted you completely.) You spoke your truth and my heart burst, you were the first of my can't-resist kisses. The kind I enjoy the most.

3. With you, it all happened too fast. I let it happen, but it felt like I was watching myself with you. I liked it because it was new, but I knew I shouldn't be there, not like that. I was scared and you were fascinated by me, and very very good at distracting me with your celestial good looks and charm. But I was empty inside and your kisses couldn't break that.

4. He went away and he left me behind and I missed him but I had chosen not to follow him and, oh it was dark and suddenly you were cute and oh look I want to kiss you so I did. You tasted like cigarettes and smiled like a little boy. You were living as though life was a big, fun adventure, and I loved the way your eyes sparkled with that.

dearLY*

you make me happy.

more happy than this photograph

of snow and sparkliness and christmas

three things i really love.

bc more than those

i love your pretty brown hair

and that your ipod always has the best music

i love that you let me email you at 3am

and you never get mad about it

i love that you seem to think im something special

someone worth your time

i love that we like the same songs

and that you pvr disneychannel

i love you more than that hotchocolate

more than my desire to buy candycanes

more than romantic roadtrips

more than staring up at the sky*

you are wonderful, leigh leigh

you light up my life

xoxo

like a fireworks show*

You’ll take me to the vintagerecord store

Down the road from where you live

And we’ll show each other beautiful covers

Legends in their younger days

Then we’ll walk through the streets

Of our lovely hometown

Our footsteps in the snow

Fairy lights in the trees

Streetlamps guiding the way

To the house where you tell me

You dream of raising your daughters

And that brilliant son you'll
Play ball with down the street

We sneak out back and

See the beautiful garden

'We could build a treehouse or a princess tent'

You say

-All I see is the isle

I want to walk down to you

With my hair up

In my perfect white dress

And they'd capture the moments

We laughed on the swings

And danced by the tree

You turn to me and smile

That dangerously charming

Look in your eyes

Captivates my heart

-I see you dreaming

I feel you hoping

And suddenly my dreams melt into yours

We’re standing in line

At crowded a mall

With giant sparkling trees

Waiting to meet Santa

To tell him they’ve been good 

To the North Pole we post

The wishes of our precious little ones

We’re sitting by the fire just before bedtime

Drinking your famous hot cocoa

And they're wearing the sweaters
Your mom made

With all the love in the world

Lost in my dreaming

You gently lift my chin

Say the light makes me glow

That I make your heart happy

And there it is

The perfect kiss

-Sparks fly between the flutters

The perfect first date

And im dreaming of forever 

Looking into your eyes

Holding your hand

Dancing to the music

Of our beating hearts

And im dreaming of forever with you
xoxo

my thoughts echo your name*

"This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you"

a beautiful college. sorority girl. fraternity boy. greek events. glee in your dorms. watching meteor showers together!!! i love that youre living my dream. and ofcourse, i proclaim the song of tonight (and every night since ive heard it, haha) enchanted by taylorswift.

love always xoxo

everyone has their own sound*

i want to shatter something. throw it across the room and hear it break. but then i want to dance in a greengreen garden dusted with sparkly things that the sun hits perfectly. and to feel like everything is happening in slow motion.

today's song obsession: let it out now by leeland. currently addicted to calla. the day was filled with: new old bedrooms. writing loveletters. us, just being.together in the best way. longing for: new places. beautiful snow with miss adachi. and our long awaited skype-date.

You ride away
as though it's

already behind you

Lost to marvelous things

discarded

for me to gather

all the broken

skeleton leaves

and torn dragonfly wings

tied together

like soft whispers

shhhhh...

don't let them touch

can't let them see

drowning now
like butterflies

in a honey sea.

-starflowerandindigo 

reading justagirl. makes me go "awww". and makes me love you even more. and. it makes me realise that maybe (just maybe) i should ease up, bc shame you really like him.

  "I love you, more than blurs on my eyelashes (tinted with eventide) and the summer sunset at twilight and bird faces on the moon. (Your ladder to the stars)"

my world hurts when youre not in it. and that seems like all the time these days...

xoxo

she's nineteen*

[my birthday sunrise]

today was a fairytale*

it really really was. completely perfect :)

it began way before midnight sang to me.

and the way my heart feels will last way past twentyfourhours.

there's nothing like a perfect birthday to make you feel loved.

[yes i did wear my tiara everywhere i went today]

i wish i could mention every moment that made me smile

im happy happy happy!

im wearing way too much jewellery, and il never take it off.

song obsession: miss nothing by theprettyreckless.

christmas movies. massacre stories. philosophy 101. sunrise. cranberryjuice. flowers. "who's amanda?" faraway friends. lost recipes. love letters. no rain. fireflies. forever friends. wonderful surprises. lovely bedtime phonecall. feeling like a princess. you singing my name..

 i have incredible friends!

birthday birthday birthday

xoxo

she's a good girl..*

many things i missed this morning: summers away at the beach with you. perfect birthdays. best friends who can eat as much cake as i can. not having to explain myself, bc you can see it before i even breathe your name. you being here with me.

 

but as the day progressed, so my world improved.

dinner plans with my inspiration. a completely quotable movie. squishy candy. a beautiful day of sunshine. application forms. bonding with my brother. roads lined with greengreen trees. new glee episodes. catchy lovesongs. rubyred nailpolish. driving through the city at night. today was filled with life's little joys*

my heart is smiling, as i drink my delicious hot rooibos tea and tell you i want you to bake me a cake. bc nothing makes me happy like watching the sun sparkle on the sea* that, and having the most incredible friends in the world :)

songs of the night: every song i have by matthewmole. (go.download.them.)

enchantedhappy xoxo

and i will make you sound like..*

"well, now i don't have a chance with any of the girls in this room.."

oh, my boy..

if only you knew

if only you tried

if only she had told me

that you looked at me like that

my restless heart would

stop for a second

and then beat for you always.

if only her first reaction was different

if only she didn't catch your eye

youd see through her laugh, her dance

and hate me for not showing you

the truth before it broke you

if only i could be

embracing fall with missadachi

with the boy who chose his girlfriend over our friendship

rushing with jessicasmith

exploring restaurants in town

listening to this wonderful cd

-without wanting to share it all with you

if only you saw the way your eyes shine

the way your heart glows

and my world reflects it all back to you

"pick me

choose me

love me"

for now i will attempt to sleep

and not dream of ending friendships. again.

tomorrow is one of lastminutes. birthdays. and a night with sarahjane <3

enchantedhappy xoxo

stop procrastinating, finish your posters. GO*

gosh, how great are zebras? VERY. You know what else is cute..? *you guessed it* SQUIRRELS. please please please, charles. pleeeaaaassse.

today i learnt: never to buy benben a large smoothie. ever again. ever. that people steam cakes. -with irons (ahem ahem zoe). that andrew winter did not infact buy his license, and is a wonderfully capable driver. and a very efficient fudge-stealer. tonight we had birthday dinner and pinkchampagne. and many many photographs (which youre also not going to see..)

things im dying to tell you but probably never will: youre going to be an amazing husband. and a wonderful father. but really. sitting: under my camprock blanket. watching seasonfour. waiting: for you to finally realise. and tell me what to do. wishing: that even for a moment, things could be simple. me and you. yes or no. cake or... ahh who am i kidding, always cake.

enchantedhappy xoxo

she said, go*

i had so much i wanted to say. but then you clouded my mind. in the best way. and now missy higgins is singing my thoughts. *okay breathe* tonight: watching the sunset. staring up at the stars. getting lost (and there's no one else i'd rather have been with. it's weird how much i trust you. despite the fact that you say i've been withdrawn with you, ive never felt more vulnerable). and charles, after i highfive you tomorrow night, youll make me tea. and break the awkwardness, please.

in other news of the day: am i jealous?

"i dont know what ive done done, or if i like what ive begun. but something told me to run"

"i dont know who i am, who i am without you. all i know is that i should."

"but you taught me how to trust myself. and so i say to you, this is what i have to do."

"i need to know just how you feel, to comfort you. i need to find the key to let me in. into your heart"

"you were blessed by a different kind of inner-view, it's all magnified."

"she will love you more than i could. -she who dares to stand where i stood"

"youre my mystery, my mystery one"

"but if i listen to the dark, youll embrace me like a star; envelop me"

"i dont know if i could stand another hand upon you, all i know is that i should"

"if things get real for me down here, promise to take me to before you went away"

"my silence solidifies, til that hollow void erases you, so i can't feel at all"

"this world youre in now, it doesnt have to be alone. i'll get there somehow. cause i know i know i know when even springtime feels cold. but i will learn to breathe this ugliness you see. so we can both be there and we can both share the dark. and in our honesty, together we will rise, out of our night minds and into the light at the end of their fight"

enchantedhappy xoxo

happybirthday sarahmurphy*

it's eight twenty. lisa is sleeping in my bed. the dogs next door are barking. i'm busy stalking Lord_Voldemort7's tweets.bc theyre hilarious and brilliant. i just finished my tea. aaaand. ohmygosh its eight twenty.

Things i don't understand: What we did before we got a dishwasher. WHAT is up with Nu Metro making me BUY 3D glasses?! Could you not have told me this before I left my 8 other pairs at home. And we allll know your 'glasses aren't included in ticket price' line is a FAKESTORY. No need to lie. How sethcohen is so dang amazing. [WHY.-no. HOW you felt you had to do this at seven am, and then leave. with me feeling like this. it's just rude and you should be ashamed. i am sorry though. truly and completely. tell me how to make this right] Aaaand. I am fully going to be lame and agree with the hype: stepup3D. INSANELY COOL. Also (and more importantly) I'm in love with Moose. More than I was in the "tastes like candycanes at christmaaas" days. WAY more. So backoff. Mine. ("mine mine mine" *just for you chaitea*)

In other news of the day. Allll of you. Yes, even you. Should click on this link now. And follow my friend's blog. Bc apprently she's getting marked on the amount of followers she has. For school. Kay GO. I'm off to watch The OC, and hope Seth can make me feel better... And wonder (but not care) if the "Californiaaaa" will wake Lisa up..

enchantedhappy xoxo

claim that you missed it*

where do i begin.

regrets and recklessness. the kind i dont understand. the kind that needed to happen. the kind that made me realise your love is greater than i couldve imagined.

friendships i feel undeserving of.

friendships i finally see are over, bc that's how you need it to be. (thanks for letting me know youll always pick your girlfriend)

and delicious vanillachai, like only you can make it.

(all i want to wear this summer)

spent today: in my iheartny pjs. wondering if theyll let me go with B in december. aaand. blowing bubbles in the garden. i realised that i never watch them float away. i just like the feeling when i blow and they suddenly appear. funfact: 'on air with ryan seacrest' is the greatest radio show.

current song obsessions: teenagedream. xxxo. all i want for christmas. with me. hey man (now youre really living). rightnow im: stalking colleges. -here and there. [today's favourites: macalester and berea.] possibly freaking out over nothing. about to watch serendipity. then nottinghill for the first time. with bowls of blackcurrent jelly. and rooibos tea. lots of rooibos tea...

enchantedhappy xoxo