take me home*

i like leaning into your chest.

and telling you my secrets.

i like when you ask me questions with your eyes.

and when everything i wish

comes true in a conversation.

obsessing over: just tonight by theprettyreckless

"when the light hits your eyes, it's telling me im right"

xoxo

love and courage*

life should be simple.

yes or no. happy or sad. light and darkness.

i shouldnt be this hesistant.

i shouldnt think this much

before i run to you.

am i scared?

but you are mine

and i am yours.

i tried not to look into your eyes today

bc you can always tell.

so i just lay there

listening to you breathe

hoping you wouldnt ask me

hoping you wouldnt see.

callenjefferson's photographs never fail to amaze me. i especially love her beach photos.  

i thought i was ready for summer, but with this beautiful rain today... im having second thoughts. #thankyouglobalwarming

xoxo

everyone has their own sound*

i want to shatter something. throw it across the room and hear it break. but then i want to dance in a greengreen garden dusted with sparkly things that the sun hits perfectly. and to feel like everything is happening in slow motion.

today's song obsession: let it out now by leeland. currently addicted to calla. the day was filled with: new old bedrooms. writing loveletters. us, just being.together in the best way. longing for: new places. beautiful snow with miss adachi. and our long awaited skype-date.

You ride away
as though it's

already behind you

Lost to marvelous things

discarded

for me to gather

all the broken

skeleton leaves

and torn dragonfly wings

tied together

like soft whispers

shhhhh...

don't let them touch

can't let them see

drowning now
like butterflies

in a honey sea.

-starflowerandindigo 

reading justagirl. makes me go "awww". and makes me love you even more. and. it makes me realise that maybe (just maybe) i should ease up, bc shame you really like him.

  "I love you, more than blurs on my eyelashes (tinted with eventide) and the summer sunset at twilight and bird faces on the moon. (Your ladder to the stars)"

my world hurts when youre not in it. and that seems like all the time these days...

xoxo

square one is lightness*

i found my truelove today.

on made.

between his ghostchair wayfarers, his love for the 50s and his amazingly preppy outfits..

i can just tell, it's meant to be!

and if for some reason he doesn't feel the same way.. #highlyunlikely

il find love in: cotton shirtdresses, reading in the sunshine, walking across bridges, early morning beach moments, beautiful doorways, being the only one in the street, staring up at the sky, or into the ocean..

waiting: for thursday. craving: lemon sorbet and heavenlyhash. listening to: coldplay.

all i want to do tomorrow is learn to play guitar.

today's song obsession: introducing me by nickjonas.

these photos [via pepperandchips] are exactly how i feel tonight.

xoxo

she's nineteen*

[my birthday sunrise]

today was a fairytale*

it really really was. completely perfect :)

it began way before midnight sang to me.

and the way my heart feels will last way past twentyfourhours.

there's nothing like a perfect birthday to make you feel loved.

[yes i did wear my tiara everywhere i went today]

i wish i could mention every moment that made me smile

im happy happy happy!

im wearing way too much jewellery, and il never take it off.

song obsession: miss nothing by theprettyreckless.

christmas movies. massacre stories. philosophy 101. sunrise. cranberryjuice. flowers. "who's amanda?" faraway friends. lost recipes. love letters. no rain. fireflies. forever friends. wonderful surprises. lovely bedtime phonecall. feeling like a princess. you singing my name..

 i have incredible friends!

birthday birthday birthday

xoxo

and i will make you sound like..*

"well, now i don't have a chance with any of the girls in this room.."

oh, my boy..

if only you knew

if only you tried

if only she had told me

that you looked at me like that

my restless heart would

stop for a second

and then beat for you always.

if only her first reaction was different

if only she didn't catch your eye

youd see through her laugh, her dance

and hate me for not showing you

the truth before it broke you

if only i could be

embracing fall with missadachi

with the boy who chose his girlfriend over our friendship

rushing with jessicasmith

exploring restaurants in town

listening to this wonderful cd

-without wanting to share it all with you

if only you saw the way your eyes shine

the way your heart glows

and my world reflects it all back to you

"pick me

choose me

love me"

for now i will attempt to sleep

and not dream of ending friendships. again.

tomorrow is one of lastminutes. birthdays. and a night with sarahjane <3

enchantedhappy xoxo

stop procrastinating, finish your posters. GO*

gosh, how great are zebras? VERY. You know what else is cute..? *you guessed it* SQUIRRELS. please please please, charles. pleeeaaaassse.

today i learnt: never to buy benben a large smoothie. ever again. ever. that people steam cakes. -with irons (ahem ahem zoe). that andrew winter did not infact buy his license, and is a wonderfully capable driver. and a very efficient fudge-stealer. tonight we had birthday dinner and pinkchampagne. and many many photographs (which youre also not going to see..)

things im dying to tell you but probably never will: youre going to be an amazing husband. and a wonderful father. but really. sitting: under my camprock blanket. watching seasonfour. waiting: for you to finally realise. and tell me what to do. wishing: that even for a moment, things could be simple. me and you. yes or no. cake or... ahh who am i kidding, always cake.

enchantedhappy xoxo

she said, go*

i had so much i wanted to say. but then you clouded my mind. in the best way. and now missy higgins is singing my thoughts. *okay breathe* tonight: watching the sunset. staring up at the stars. getting lost (and there's no one else i'd rather have been with. it's weird how much i trust you. despite the fact that you say i've been withdrawn with you, ive never felt more vulnerable). and charles, after i highfive you tomorrow night, youll make me tea. and break the awkwardness, please.

in other news of the day: am i jealous?

"i dont know what ive done done, or if i like what ive begun. but something told me to run"

"i dont know who i am, who i am without you. all i know is that i should."

"but you taught me how to trust myself. and so i say to you, this is what i have to do."

"i need to know just how you feel, to comfort you. i need to find the key to let me in. into your heart"

"you were blessed by a different kind of inner-view, it's all magnified."

"she will love you more than i could. -she who dares to stand where i stood"

"youre my mystery, my mystery one"

"but if i listen to the dark, youll embrace me like a star; envelop me"

"i dont know if i could stand another hand upon you, all i know is that i should"

"if things get real for me down here, promise to take me to before you went away"

"my silence solidifies, til that hollow void erases you, so i can't feel at all"

"this world youre in now, it doesnt have to be alone. i'll get there somehow. cause i know i know i know when even springtime feels cold. but i will learn to breathe this ugliness you see. so we can both be there and we can both share the dark. and in our honesty, together we will rise, out of our night minds and into the light at the end of their fight"

enchantedhappy xoxo

she thought aloud. to you*

I am not a troubled girl.
I trust.

In the one who created everything I see around me.

The sky. Autumn’s leaves. Your eyes.

In the one who knows every thought I’ve ever had.

Every dream I’ve ever wished upon a star.
Each of my hopes. And which of them will come true.


I trust.
In the beauty of our friendship.
In the person I am with you.
In your judgement.
Because you look to Him to know what’s right.
I trust in honesty.
Me to you, and your heart to mine.

I am not a troubled girl.

I love.

That she’s in my life.
That she knows me better than I know myself.
My thoughts before I think them.
What I want out of life.
Who I need in the moment.


I love.
Smiling to myself when I’m proud of you.
Dancing in the street.
To listen to his heartbeat.
He trusted me, he let me in.
But he no longer sees the man I saw him become.
He no longer sees himself through my heart.
He doubted my trust.
So he broke it.


I love never being afraid to hope.
“I love us.”
It’s not just a good movie quote.

I am not a troubled girl.

I know.
The strength it takes to recover.

What I believe in.

Who I want to be.

The light I want to shine.

The impact I will make in this world.

Who’s hearts I want my life to reflect.

I’m certain. I’ve decided.

I know.

Sometimes I don’t understand.

Sometimes it breaks my heart.

Sometimes not everything matches.

Your thoughts. My fears. Their actions.

Sometimes it hurts.

And I want to run.

But to, or from?
He’s already holding my heart.
He always holds me together.
You never have to worry.
He is my King. My rock. My only hope.
I am His precious daughter.
Nothing satisfies like His Word.
No one consoles like His Spirit.
The light He shines through my heart.

Only, sometimes. (And there shouldn’t be an only)

But sometimes. I stop and wonder.

Who will hold me when my insides shatter?

When I trust His plan,

When I know it’ll be okay.

But I can’t stop shaking.

Not knowing that.

The uncertainty in relationships.

The unpredictability my world is a testament to.

Makes me human.

Not troubled.

Not unworthy of truth; not betrayed.
(Sometimes betrayed)

But that I know betrayal for what it is, is a blessing in itself.

A blessing.

Soak it in, Andrea. You are blessed.

Your life thus far.

You always dreaming big.

The people who have shaped your life.

The way you know your heart.

The times you let them in.
This moment.
A blessing.
Breathe.

enchantedhappy xoxo