she thought aloud. to you*

I am not a troubled girl.
I trust.

In the one who created everything I see around me.

The sky. Autumn’s leaves. Your eyes.

In the one who knows every thought I’ve ever had.

Every dream I’ve ever wished upon a star.
Each of my hopes. And which of them will come true.


I trust.
In the beauty of our friendship.
In the person I am with you.
In your judgement.
Because you look to Him to know what’s right.
I trust in honesty.
Me to you, and your heart to mine.

I am not a troubled girl.

I love.

That she’s in my life.
That she knows me better than I know myself.
My thoughts before I think them.
What I want out of life.
Who I need in the moment.


I love.
Smiling to myself when I’m proud of you.
Dancing in the street.
To listen to his heartbeat.
He trusted me, he let me in.
But he no longer sees the man I saw him become.
He no longer sees himself through my heart.
He doubted my trust.
So he broke it.


I love never being afraid to hope.
“I love us.”
It’s not just a good movie quote.

I am not a troubled girl.

I know.
The strength it takes to recover.

What I believe in.

Who I want to be.

The light I want to shine.

The impact I will make in this world.

Who’s hearts I want my life to reflect.

I’m certain. I’ve decided.

I know.

Sometimes I don’t understand.

Sometimes it breaks my heart.

Sometimes not everything matches.

Your thoughts. My fears. Their actions.

Sometimes it hurts.

And I want to run.

But to, or from?
He’s already holding my heart.
He always holds me together.
You never have to worry.
He is my King. My rock. My only hope.
I am His precious daughter.
Nothing satisfies like His Word.
No one consoles like His Spirit.
The light He shines through my heart.

Only, sometimes. (And there shouldn’t be an only)

But sometimes. I stop and wonder.

Who will hold me when my insides shatter?

When I trust His plan,

When I know it’ll be okay.

But I can’t stop shaking.

Not knowing that.

The uncertainty in relationships.

The unpredictability my world is a testament to.

Makes me human.

Not troubled.

Not unworthy of truth; not betrayed.
(Sometimes betrayed)

But that I know betrayal for what it is, is a blessing in itself.

A blessing.

Soak it in, Andrea. You are blessed.

Your life thus far.

You always dreaming big.

The people who have shaped your life.

The way you know your heart.

The times you let them in.
This moment.
A blessing.
Breathe.

enchantedhappy xoxo

electric heartbeat moment*

[image via blackorchid]

"i think he can see through everything but my heart"

[images via buthonestly]

missadachi is back yay :) while she did her thirty days without fb ive been trying to do thirty days of trusting. thirty days of my first thought not being 'they could hurt me' or 'it's not a big deal if all they know is the person i let them see'. and it's been surprisingly liberating. sufficiently terrifying, but wonderful none the less. taylorswift's description of herself on her myspace page makes me love her even more. yes, i am on her myspace page right now. stalking: her blog. listening to: her new single, mine. and wishing: we were actually friends. haha. okay i better get to bed. to dream of: sparkly things. christmas time. sunset picnics. that night on the beach when you let me lean in and rest my head on your chest. indulging in the beauty of the moment. and never looking back. "you are the best thing that's ever been mine."

enchantedhappy xoxo

dreaming intermittently*

sometimes it scares me. and sometimes i wish i didn't, bc i can't take it back and that scares me even more. some days it feels too right to be good. but youve never given me reason to doubt. you always make it worth it. youre completely deserving of my trust. and you make me feel like sunshine. im so glad i let you in*

 

listening to: defying gravity (yay glee). pondering: isaiah fiftythree (did you know it was written SEVEN HUNDRED YEARS before jesus came. seven hundred years. read it. it's mindblowing). and wishing for: a fairytale ball (greek season three).

enchantedhappy xoxo

you don't know him*

(it's not fair. it's ruining my days. and making me miss your heartbeat. even though i know i'm not allowed. even though i was sure everything was going perfectly. for us both. it's not about before. it's not about why. i just really need to sleep. and to trust. i need to be able to be, even when i don't understand. and not to feel like i need to prove my honesty or sincerity.
or my love.)
currently stalking: domesticdaddy. french socialites. enrico coveri. (-youll love it, charles. go stalk!) ALSO. i just reblogged a post from iwrotethisforyou. it's long. but hectic. questioning mediafreedom in SA.

enchantedhappy xoxo