to be alive*

 now that i know enchanted is about him, ive rekindled my fascination with adam's tweets. and he just keeps getting better. in other news of the day: ive been listening to old playlists. aand cleaning the kitchen [whuuuut. yeah i speak truth.]

[glee + teenvogue = like heaven]

ive eaten too much chocolate cupcake batter. mmm so delicious, but all i want is water for the rest of the day. for now, im gonna keep watching my favourite part of camprock over and over. "been feeling lost, can't find the words to say.."

so inlove with her dress.

wishing: i could play guitar.

contemplating: how much things can change in a week.

aaand my new life goal: working for unicef.

{live like there's no tomorrow by selenagomez}

happy wednesday everyone xoxo

take me home*

i like leaning into your chest.

and telling you my secrets.

i like when you ask me questions with your eyes.

and when everything i wish

comes true in a conversation.

obsessing over: just tonight by theprettyreckless

"when the light hits your eyes, it's telling me im right"

xoxo

you again*

 You mean that much to me
And it's hard to show
Gets hectic inside of me
When you go
Can I confess these things
To you
Well I don't know
Embedded in my chest
And it
Hurts to hold

I couldn't spill my heart
My eyes gleam looking in from the dark
I walk out in stormy weather
Hold my words, keep us together
Steady walking but bound to trip
Should release but just tighten my grip

Night time
Sympathize
I've been working on
White lies
So I'll tell the truth
I'll give it up to you
And when the day come
It will have all been fun
We'll talk about it soon

this song. then: maps by theyeahyeahyeahs..

and the weekend is already perfect.

"wait, they don't love you like i love you"

xoxo

the plastic-made dreams*

"Talk all the talk with a poet's style

Tongue like electric, eyes like a child

Buy all your wives and the classic cars

Live like a savior, live like the stars

Buy all your highs and the classic cars

Die on the front page, just like the stars"

"Pace all the rooms with a jealous style

Tongue like electric, eyes like a child

Paint all your soul with the grand designs
Reach like a savior, your heart on the line

Talk all the talk with a model's smile"

tonight's song: say you dont want it by onenightonly.

i will dream sweetly.

xoxo

or just a dream..*

"it's about the certainty

of being one or the other,

i think.

a way of being

so unfamiliar and intriguing to one

whose multifaceted interior

is inclined to see every angle simultaneously.

where lines are rarely so defined.

a world where i am the colour of cherries.

i am the slate grey electric sky.

i multiply.

i believe in people.

and you might be all the proof i need.. "

-cloudgathererholdmedown

 "she isn't supposed to feel this way; like every thought is a secret. her dreams bleed, one into another. each burns more than the last. strangers walk past and their innocent smiles stain her heart."

 "sometimes i think the human heart is just a simple shelf. there's only so much you can pile onto it before something falls off an edge and you are left to pick up the pieces."

..im going to go stare up at the sky for a while. and then spend the night reading.

"i never trust a dog to watch my food. and i like to use the word dude as a noun, or an adverb or an adjective. and i, ive never really been into cars. i like really cool guitars. and super heroes, and cheques with lots of zeros on them. i love the sound of violins, and making someone smile"

#ilovenickjonas

xoxo

she said, go*

i had so much i wanted to say. but then you clouded my mind. in the best way. and now missy higgins is singing my thoughts. *okay breathe* tonight: watching the sunset. staring up at the stars. getting lost (and there's no one else i'd rather have been with. it's weird how much i trust you. despite the fact that you say i've been withdrawn with you, ive never felt more vulnerable). and charles, after i highfive you tomorrow night, youll make me tea. and break the awkwardness, please.

in other news of the day: am i jealous?

"i dont know what ive done done, or if i like what ive begun. but something told me to run"

"i dont know who i am, who i am without you. all i know is that i should."

"but you taught me how to trust myself. and so i say to you, this is what i have to do."

"i need to know just how you feel, to comfort you. i need to find the key to let me in. into your heart"

"you were blessed by a different kind of inner-view, it's all magnified."

"she will love you more than i could. -she who dares to stand where i stood"

"youre my mystery, my mystery one"

"but if i listen to the dark, youll embrace me like a star; envelop me"

"i dont know if i could stand another hand upon you, all i know is that i should"

"if things get real for me down here, promise to take me to before you went away"

"my silence solidifies, til that hollow void erases you, so i can't feel at all"

"this world youre in now, it doesnt have to be alone. i'll get there somehow. cause i know i know i know when even springtime feels cold. but i will learn to breathe this ugliness you see. so we can both be there and we can both share the dark. and in our honesty, together we will rise, out of our night minds and into the light at the end of their fight"

enchantedhappy xoxo

and it seems to me*

this weekend i learnt a lot. about myself. and the person i am around different people. about canalwalk. and islam. lastnight: we found a new parkingplace. and finally went into legends. then the night took an interesting turn. which began with kyle's attempt at filtering wine through his extreme coffee machine. and ended with his probable decision never to invite lisafortuin and i over again. atleast not until he covers his apartment in plastic. *awkward* tonight we went to this INSANE show at C's school. (ilovetygerbergcampus) jessicasmith, you would have LOVED it! it was glee X100 000. gonna try get the dvd. aaaand. i had a lightbulb moment. and wrote a list. and happened to make sense of my life. reading vicki's blog made my head start spinning allll over again. argh, i have so much in my head. but. im falling asleep rightnow. which is good. so im embracing it :) until next time....

enchantedhaapy xoxo

love, save the empty*

You hold your head up to the sky

You say what kind of blue

are you? Are you?

Then you ride your pony round and round

It’s diggin’ a hole, right through, right through

You stumble down a yellow brick road

Spinning your shoes in the air, the air.

Then you, hold your breath, and count to nine

Hoping that soon somebody will find you, find you

Go on, go on, go on, the stars are watching
Just say, just say, just say, what you’re feeling
You know, you know, you know, you gotta take a bow and do it your way
It’s okay, ladadadadadadadada, it’s okay, ladadadadadadadada

You’re 15 miles over the speed

You’re going fast as you can after your daydream
Ohh

On your mark get set, you hurry away

And have a serious talk with your champagne

It's time for you to prove
Within your ruby shoes

You deserve a smile with no regret

 Oh, look at you

Kicking off your shoes

Dancing for the world to see

You got the power to believe

Now open up and sing

And go be free and fly away

 "summer, youre my little snow angel"

(seth cohen rocks my world)

enchantedhappy xoxo

you'll never see me*

currently craving: homemade lemonade. watermelon. cotton dresses. my own apartment*

[since watching gatsby again, i want many bunches of roses in every room of my house]

it's almost my birthday! yes it is*

[haha, love it] tomorrow is madiba's birthday. how will you spend those 67 minutes?

i hope to dream of: fairytales and lemontrees. "nothing sweeter than summer time, and american honey"

enchantedhappy xoxo

i feel so far from where i've been...*

[the most sunnyhappy outfit]

"The summer's all in bloom

The summer is ending soon

It's alright and it's nice not to be so alone

But I hold on to secrets in white houses

Maybe I'm a little bit over my head

I come undone at the things he said"

"It's alright and I put myself in his hands
But I hold on to secrets in white houses
Love, or something ignites in my veins
And I pray it never fades"
"And you, maybe you'll remember me
What I gave is yours to keep"

i want these glasses. and for it to be sunny enough to wear them. i don't feel like going to the fanpark tomorrow. -is that silly? right now, im looking for missadachi's mission blog post on oscentral. bc mine needs to be done soon. so far i have found her amazing mission memories and advice post. really excited! time to collect toothbrushes :)

enchantedhappy xoxo

if you're the bird..*

[stefan in the company gardens. and town.]

may seventeenth is the day. so i have much to get done before then, and should not be spending time blogging. but. i've bn listening to the across the universe soundtrack. and mutemath. and dark blue. i heard scoutingforgirls on the radio (yeah, you heard right. it was one time. i'm not making it a habit. especially after this incident.) and i got so upset. i don't like it when the music i listen to comes on the radio. i guess it's a feeling only lisafortuin will understand.

there has been much animosity directed at me recently, i don't get it. *sigh* but watevs i guess. doctors have huuuge cvs. like, damn. "master of medicine"

oh, apparently charles and i are friends again.

currently obesessed with: not falling apart. velvet. candles. starting over. movie release dates. guitar solos.

"When the evening shadows and the stars appear

And there is no one there to dry your tears

I could hold you for a million years

To make you feel my love"

"I could make you happy, make your dreams come true

Nothing that I wouldn't do

Go to the ends of the earth for you

To make you feel my love"

well, enjoy the rainy day. and happy birthday ru*

enchantedhappy xoxo

there's no reeee-loving you*

you stalk the same movies as me. you don't wear sunblock, bc apparently you want to die of skin cancer. you surf most often when there's a boy involved. you make hot chocolate and then describe one tree hill episodes to me in extreme detail. and give away crucial information about greys way before i've reached that episode. you own the dvd of pretty much every movie you've ever watched. as well as every item vertigo has ever had in stock. you're now officially brunette. and i can't wait to see you.

happy birthday to you,B*

it's going to be everything you've dreamed this day would be.and more. may it be filled with all the magic you deserve. and delicous food which i will make sure you actually eat.

"you're my little indigo girl, it's a beautiful world when you're around" and i hope that "it's a dream, it's a love..tonight"

"So the next time you forget you're Blair Waldorf, remember I'm Chuck Bass. And I love you."

whether we're living in the apartment with the awesum glass-cooling fridge (which now lawden can't come see bc u *ahem ahem* ruined the vibe...) or back in this mess we called home for so long... i look forward to many many years of trailer-stalking. and obsessing over tv shows. and a romantic future with our respective chosen ones :) "i don't even know why i'm pretending to think about it.. yes!"

you're all kinds of beautiful.

ps. luke loves me more*

enchantedhappy xoxo

you built up a world of magic / because your real life is tragic*

it rained all through the night. all through the day. and it was wonderful*

this girl is very pretty. i would like her jacket. and the image is via jak&jil. which im addicted to. just like pepperandchips. and blackcurrant jellypowder. mmm delicious! i spent the day wearing grey. with my daddy's big german military coat. wearing lovely red lipstick, like hers. i went a lil overboard with the screwdriver in my wall. and i had a good, productive conversation with demi. who, later on in the day, i cried about. yeah, loserish. but it was an emotional moment. i can't believe that, after everything we've shared, the three of us are going to be apart for so long. today, roz reminded me how incredibly gorgeous both zac efron and chace crawford are. and she may or may not have reignited an obsession. ooh and today stefan did his first stitches. -closing up someone's chest, dang. im going to paint my nails deep purple now. lastnight i watched the episode of HIMYM about 'firsts'. but tomorrow will be filled with lasts.

oh. i would like to take this opportunity to formally and publicly apologize to victoria. for the oh-so-many wrong things i did in the previous post. the usage of improper vocabulary in close proximity to your name was blatantly unacceptable. i hope someday all shall be set right. justice must be served.

enchantedhappy xoxo

and i knew it was you*

i want to go somewhere sparkly. so sparkly that i can't help but smile. so sparkly that it'll outshine everything else in my life. and then i want to spin around so it all blurs together.

and i want the three of us to be reunited. it's not the same without you.. i thought it would be fine. but when thursday night happened.. it wasn't. anyway, if you were here, we would drive around with nowhere to go. and play music really loud. singing along, and missing all the notes. you'd know i wanted to cry. and wait until i did. and then you would give me the best advice. and we would eat random food. which you made while i watched tv :)

*sigh* it would be lovely if we could just..

i want pretty grey boots. and lil black ankle boots.

"Do you like Shakespeare, Jeff Buckley, watching movies on Sundays?

Do you like kissing when its raining, making faces in the station?

Do you like…I need to know.

Do you like…Before you go.

Show me the place where you come from

And the places you dream of

I wanna know everything you are

But before we get that far..."

so i shall go back to listening to my ipod. and singing very loudly.

i have no idea what im going as to the hollywood halloween party tonight. i love the theme. i hope i go to the states before halloween. as for the outift.. we'll have to see what spontaneity brings* and then later i get to spend the night mocking victoria. yay!

im glad it's raining. i like it when the weather matches my mood.

enchantedhappy xoxo

maps*

this is from emma watson's shoot for teen vogue. such an insane photo. and outfit. and location. she has a new line of clothes out. with her brother according to sarahjane. btw yay sarahjane may have found a house! yay :)

i have this song stuck in my head. it's by the yeah yeah yeah's. i have an american apparel tshirt with the lyrics on it. it's cool. it was photographed by 'we are awesome' at the assembly. yesss :) als, im quite enjoying streetart these days. it may be faran's influence (yes im saying it like we're bffs haha) yay nylon*

image via pepperandchips

and i would like these shoes :) and to dye my hair darker. and to work at nylon. today, please :)

enchantedhapppy xoxo