I'm scared that I will die
I'm scared that I will die and all my journals will sit in their corner
I'm scared that will die and every thought and hope and wish I made won't have it's time to come true.
I'm scared that I will die and all the boys I liked won't read the poems I wrote about them
I'm scared the letters I wrote to my mom won't be found (I'm scared they will be found, too)
I'm scared my heartsongs will never be heard
but I am also scared they will.
I'm scared that I will never fill a book with Charlotte
and that we won't have that glitter-filled store and we won't save as many lives as I know we can
I'm scared dust glitter rain won't change the world if I don't make it
I'm scared that all my feelings will stop my heart a day too soon
I am scared that I'm not living
The way I want to and the way that matters
I'm scared I'm scared
That I will never earn this life back
The miracle that filled my heart when I felt alive again -and wanted to be
after every night I prayed so hard -tears running down my face, hysterical-
I'm scared every day I breathe and cry and worry.
I'm scared I am never enough light and never enough hope
to earn all of this life back.
I am scared that I am fooling my way through
all this breathing and dancing and walking around