Wednesday, October 2, 2013

A year ago: a messy list

A year ago
Everything was dark and numb and
I don't remember

A year ago
I can't believe it
I think some more about how I don't believe in time

A year ago
He kissed me
Like an idiot! Outside her house before they drove away
Because a boy who didn't know me said he should
He kissed me! Idiot!
Like he was the bridge and I was the river
and all he had to do was jump

A year ago I fell in love
and we pretended our first kiss was in the ocean
I remember the sticky wet-suit I later found out was his
I remember my feet colder than they've ever been
I remember feeling my heart swell while I watched him from afar

A year ago
A girl with floral Docs
She had floral docs!
Painted a school with me in the rain
We rode in trains after beach-filled days

A year ago
was my birthday but I only remember one hour of it
on the couch with a tin of caramel and a tiny hope he'd call

One year ago
All my days were spent by the ocean, smiling about playful children
All my nights were spent in dimly-lit bars
Caramel vodka beer beer beer
Long drive home with the window open

There was one night
One night that
-there was warm skin and all I saw were the constellations forming between us
One night a year ago that never ended
But it began again in soft sunlight
One night a year ago that
Still feels soft like sunlight.

A year ago was a string of dark moments and delicate echoes
Today is a million shades brighter.

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