someone to fall back on*

{someone to fall back on by i cant go on, i'll go on}

maybe i should tell you how nervous i suddenly am about something i was sure i could do. and that my only source of affirmation doesnt know how bad things were. but where would that get me. support from people who feel obliged and who don't know me at all. #thingsidonthavetimefor

maybe i should say that i hope you understand that if i could spend every minute with you again, i would. but im not sure you do, and im afraid you think i dont care anymore. maybe i should let you know that you are missed, every single day. and that you are still his favourite. maybe i should call you and shout back that you are loved, changed or not, and that there is nothing to be afraid of.

maybe i should explain how i feel like the novelty is wearing off, but my greatest fear is that it would only speed up the process of ending. or maybe im afraid bc i feel like im nothing without you. maybe i should find a better way to show you how much i love you, how much of myself i lose in wanting to protect you. but all i can do is hope that you always allow me to be a part of your life.

and all i really want to say is, dont forget to make a wish*