i can't keep crying myself to sleep like this. i can't keep dreaming things that hurt more than my reality. i cant keep not knowing the difference. i hate feeling like the only option is excess or restriction. i hate not being able to explain this to you. and really, im too tired (of this, of myself) to say it aloud. so, i continue to lie here. alone and broken. wishing i could curl up tight enough to squeeze your love away.