i want to say it.
in that silent moment that's never quite right.
i want to tell you, and for it to be okay.
but i know this world, and i know what will happen.
and suddenly i'll be That Girl. and it'll all be a big story.
and you won't know how to act around me.
and you'll second-guess my every word.
so instead i wait.
for.. i don't know..
i'm hoping i'll wake up
and it'll all have been a dream.
a terrible one
like the kind i have every night anyway.
until then, i have my favourite people.
and spontaneous adventures.
and the incredible sky.
somehow they make me feel sparkly inside, amidst all of this*
and somehow the days keep passing
but it feels like nothing's changed.