for days. i have felt anxious. frustrated. furious. rushed. like all i needed was a moment to sit. to enjoy one cup of tea. more time. i always need more time. where does the day go? why does my body not match the minutes? there's so much to do. so much to be. so many to hope for. and the moments pass by with speed beyond what my heart can understand. then. i walked in the rain. the kind of rain that isn't really rain yet. the kind that usually irritates me. only, this time it calmed me. soothed my restless heart. and suddenly, now more than ever, i realise who i need to be.
[i love bows]
today. i needed to do something. something intense. but subtle. (can something be both?)
my world feels like a physical manifestation of tereza's three dreams. and i needed to do something to show that. i wanted to do what i used to. what i stopped. but that lasts. and you'd know.
on a lighter note: i haven't had a cellphone for five days. it's been lovely. freeing. didn't realise how much time i spend checking it/on it. and i don't wear a watch anymore. so i've been living like stargirl without the constraints of time. it's the best feeling*